Tips for Au Pairs

Despite the fact that it has something like 9 or 10 months since I last updated here and I feel somewhat removed from this blog, I'd rather spit out the last few posts or so this place deserves even if no one is still reading. Regardless of how long it has been since I was in Holland. This post I've been sitting on the longest and I'm really glad to finally finish it up.

I've kept this down to five tips because everyone is different. Every family is different. Every au pair experience is different. I didn't want to get too specific with the dos and don'ts, but I did want to at least provide specific or thorough exposition for each point.

Out on the wiley, windy moors...

Today I was going to post about Christmas (again) because Sinterklass came this weekend and left gifts for the children. I still plan on putting that entry up on the blog but for today I have something completely different to share with you.

Music. It would be an understatement to say that it is one of my most favorite things. I could go on and on about how music is a powerful force in my life and my travels. I could tell you about all the songs that have made it onto my "Life in Holland" playlist and which will forever remind me of my time here. I could, I probably will, but let's go in a slightly different direction...

During my senior year of high school I had to read Wuthering Heights for AP Literature. I think it was the only book that I didn't read. (Sorry, Mr. Roper!) After maybe 50 pages or so I just couldn't go any further. The way I remember it, I made it pretty clear to everyone in my class that I was not a fan. At all. Still, it was a required part of the curriculum so I tried to find a way to like it. That is when I found the following:



Wuthering Heights is a classic. Kate Bush is a classic. Both points can be argued but this video is epic and hilarious at the same time. I convinced our teacher to pull it up on his computer one day so we could all watch it on the projector. It became a running joke among me and my classmates/friends. It still is. If that is how people from high school remember me I think I am okay with that.

How many times have I watched this video? Too many. Does it ever get old? Nope. How is this relevant? Today it came on the radio while I was picking the children up from school. It made my day. I love the variety of music Dutch radio stations provide. Katy Perry, Elvis, Seal, Queen, Bob Dylan, Lil' Wayne, Prince, Nina Simone, and those are just the ones I remember. They play everything you can imagine. But to hear this song was the deal maker. Dutch radio is the best. And this song never gets old. I know every word and if you ask me (read: bribe me) I'll break out some of the dance moves too.

Goedemorgen, winter.

Last night I had a strange dream. A mysterious guy gave me a ride to the train station in a big black SUV with tinted windows. I think he was my bodyguard. My brother, Seth, was waiting there for me. When we got into Amsterdam we got on the wrong tram and had to get off and walk in the opposite direction. Justin Bieber joined us and we made our way towards Rembrandtplein to check in to Hotel Atlanta, which I discovered last weekend. Then I woke up. The clock said 8:10. Why was I up that early on a Saturday? I checked the weather online to make sure it wouldn't snow but I couldn't get back to sleep. Justin Bieber was in my dream. Weird. But not so weird because my other brother, Owen, has hair that looks exactly like that of the teeny bopper icon, except it is not as well conditioned.



I believe this dream has to do with a recent event - I know when I'll be going home. I'll be leaving Holland on December 23rd and arriving in Atlanta late that night. It won't be fun getting crammed in so close to Christmas, especially when my family's plans for the holiday include traveling. The night I booked the flight, Seth and I had a real heart-to-heart on Skype. We ganged up on Owen, telling him to cut his hair or forever face the embarrassment of looking back at his middle school portraits with regret.

Now it is 9:37am. The canal behind the house is frozen. I need to buy some boots. I need to start buying Christmas presents. I have only 3 1/2 weeks left here. Maybe I should get out of bed.

Edit: It is snowing.

A bit about the little ones

I don't post ever, if at all, about the children I watch. I've changed their names and won't post pictures of them with their faces showing for privacy reasons and what not. But I really should tell you a few things about them. Because despite the bad times such as messy diaper changes, whiney moods, absurd demands, and messes there are so many cute and hilarious moments every day that are just too precious not to share with someone.

Since I like making lists I've made a list of such instances where my heart melts or my belly aches from laughing so hard:

• They tend to copy many things I do or say that I never realized were habits of mine. Examples: Roeland says "Oh my goodness!" whenever appropriate and sometimes he even beats me to it. Rosa covers her mouth and giggles when I cover my mouth and giggle about something.
• Back in the summer (reality check: I've been here long enough to distinguish one season from another) I showed Roeland the movie Wall-E and he became obsessed. Then I introduced him to Toy Story and he's seen it enough now that he can sit there with me and go back-and-forth quoting it. One of our favorites is "What are you looking at you hockey puck!?"
• During the FIFA World Cup I'd turn on some of the matches during the day and we'd watch it for as long as their attention spans would hold. That is where they learned to say "miss!" whenever someone shot and missed. Well, now Rosa says it when she is putting on her shoes by herself and I tell her they're on the wrong feet. "Oh, miss!" she says and rearranges them.
• They're still young enough for kisses to be the ultimate fix to anything. A bump on the head. A tumble. A scratch from the cat. And so whenever I get hurt or say ouch they race to give me a kiss. Usually, it happens when we're playing together and one of them accidentally clunks their head against mine or something.
• Rosa has a very independent personality which I appreciate because I was/am like that, but it took her longer to warm up to me. Whenever Robin and Anna are home she still prefers them to help her with things if she wants help at all. However, these past few weeks she's shown signs that she actually likes me. Whenever I wear tights she rubs my leg and whispers "mooi!," which means 'pretty.' Yesterday she held my hand for something like 20 minutes while we were watching a movie. When I go to pick her up from pre-school her face lights up when she sees me and she runs to hug me. Today was the icing on the cake though when she turned to me and said "my Emma" while I was taking her upstairs for a new diaper.
• Roeland has become more attached as well even though he liked me from the beginning. Two weekends ago they gave me a ride to the train station and when I got out of the car he kept repeating the word "no." Last Saturday morning as I was heading out for a run he did the same thing because he didn't want me to leave. Evidentially, the week I was gone in Sweden he asked where I was a few times and when I would be back.
• During lunchtime I like to play music from my iTunes. Yesterday I put on Etta James and Rosa started dancing in her chair and humming along to "It's a Cryin' Shame." I asked her if she liked the song and Roeland, who doesn't usually like it when I play music, shouted that he liked it more than her.

An Update and an Upcoming Adventure

I've been pretty bad about posting about life here aside from my adventures in Amsterdam. There is so much I could write about and I promise I'll make an effort to post more often. For now I have some good news to share:


Owen gives this post TWO thumbs up.

• SWEDEN On September 18th I will be leaving Holland for a week in Sweden. On Saturday morning I leave for Sweden. I will be in Sweden for a week. I've had my flights booked for just over a month and my departure is just a few days away but I still can't believe it. I am unfathomably excited for this trip for many reasons. I will be staying with my mother's second cousin once removed, Suzanne. She is the daughter of my great-grandmother's sister's daughter. I think...

My Swedish heritage has always been a part of my life. Scattered among my childhood memories is that Christmas I wore St. Lucia's wreath of candles and served coffee and buns to both sides of my family while they sang, playing with Dalarna horses with my younger brother like they were My Little Ponies, making wishes on pepparkakor cookies by placing them in my palm then pressing down (if it breaks into three pieces your wish comes true), platefuls of handmade Swedish meatballs, the intense smell of cardamon, and a calendar of Carl Larsson paintings in my grandmother's kitchen every year. As I've gotten older I've come to gain a deep appreciation for my ancestors and their journey to America. My great-grandmother got on a ship all by herself when she was only eighteen! And I love that both my grandmas have kept our family history alive.

So, to actually go to Sweden at last is surreal. I really can't think of a more perfect time in the phases of my life for me to do this.

• SHUTTERFLY All my travel pictures can now be viewed here on my sharing site at Shutterfly. The monthly MB limit on Flickr was too constraining. If I kept at it it would be a year before all my pictures made it up so I got an account at Shutterfly instead. I can upload as many photos as I want and I can organize them all fairly easily. I have started putting up pictures from my previous travels in India and Italy. Paris, London, Ireland, and Holland will be added soon. Captions will make their way onto every picture soon as well but I just couldn't wait to give you the link.

Have love, will travel

I have a three day weekend coming up so the past week or so I've been putting together plans for a little trip to Brussels. Even though I don't have to watch the children on Monday, I'm leaving Saturday morning and returning Sunday evening. It turned out that way simply because train tickets were cheaper at those times. Monday will most likely be another day in Amsterdam.

One of my mottos when it comes to trips like this: have a plan but don't stick to it. Leave room for a few whims and wanderings. When I planned my first trip on my own, without a tour group or school schedule, I researched and planned out every minute detail. But when I got to there (London) I quickly realized that I had much more fun if I just went along with how I was feeling. I had the hours and locations of what I wanted to see, so I just went along with my mood each day. I didn't get to see everything but I felt like if I rushed through with my perfectly organized itinerary I wouldn't have been present in all those places.

Since I know very little about Belgium aside from the fact that it is mainly characterized by good beer and chocolate, it has been slightly overwhelming trying to figure out what I am going to do while there. So far, I have filled a few pages in my small notebook for travel notes. Sections include places of interest such as museums, restaurants/cafes/pubs, and areas ideal for shopping. Really the only thing I am absolutely sure about is the flea market at the Marolles-Place du Jeu de Balle. We'll see what happens.

And so I've collected a few sites and links that I've found helpful for this sort of thing:

36 Hours In...
The New York Times has a running column outlining various things to do, see, and eat in cities throughout the world. There is even one for Athens, Georgia. I found this to be a nice place to start thinking about the possibilities available for a weekend in Brussels.

Accommodations
There are so many sites out there for finding a place to stay. This is usually the hard part of the planning process. Especially if you're on a budget. You want a clean bed in an acceptable location. Location is the first sacrifice to be made, which is fine as long as the hotel is in area connected to public transportation. These are the sites I prefer:
Venere
Booking
Hostel World

Discount Tourism Passes
Most major cities in Europe have cards that allow you free entrance to popular museums and discounts at participating resteraunts, attractions, and shops. However, I have found that the best part about these cards is that most tend to cover public transportation ticket fees as well. This is where it really proves it's worth, especially for larger cities where it is impossible to get around the city entirely on foot. Other possible bonuses include not having to wait in line for entrance to busy museums and a free map.
Amsterdam
Barcelona
Brussels
Dublin
Lisbon
London
Paris
Prague
Rome
Venice

Rick Steve's Europe Through the Back Door
This is the guy when it comes to travel tips and reviews. He has been at it since the 80's, has seen it all, and has written about nearly every crevice in Europe. He has his own TV show, radio show, and line of guide books. My Minnesotan readers would be happy to know that he is a good ol' Lutheran and an upstanding guy, even if a little corny at times. You can't help but like him.

Like-a-Local
I just discovered this site today so I still don't know that much about it. The idea behind it is excellent but I don't know how well it works in reality. Basically, you can search for locals offering to meet-up with tourists and give them a taste of their native surroundings. Depending on what you're looking for there are people offering an afternoon of vintage shopping, a home cooked meal, canal boat tours with the family, or morning coffee near the train station. The activities, durations, and prices vary city-to-city and when you've picked your friend for a day you proceed by making a reservation with them.

Ever since I put your picture in a frame

As you can imagine, I take many more photos than those that actually end up appearing on this blog. I created an account on Flickr which will host all my photos I take while here. I also plan on creating galleries for my photos from India, Italy, and all my other travels abroad.


My Flickr

I've placed a permanent link in the menu at the top of the page that will take you there as well. The only negative aspect to this is that since I'm not a paying member of Flickr I am limited to how many MB I can upload each month. So, I will update it as often as I am allowed. Keep checking it for updates.

Onto something good here

Bread with butter and sprinkles (hagelslag) is a common food in the Netherlands. I read about it before I came but figured it was probably one of those country trademarks. Maybe even a stereotype. But it is true. I make the children a boterham every day for lunch. Sometimes this just means bread, butter, and cheese. Or bread, butter, and ham. Or bread, butter, and Nutella. But most often it is bread, butter, and hagelslag. There are so many different kinds of sprinkles that I was astonished the first time I peeked down the aisle in the supermarket. My host parents buy just two boxes: one of chocolade hagelslag and one of fruit hagelslag.

For the first few weeks I held off from trying either. To me that is dessert, not a midday meal. But last week I gave in. It is too good not to eat, though I've been good so far about not having one every day.


Hagelslag boterham and yoki drink, which I've only seen here in the Netherlands.

The only real problem is that sprinkles are messy. They end up all over the kitchen table and on the floor. I feel like I'm always sweeping. They also stick to the children and I find rogue sprinkles in the bathroom, on the couch, and even in the bath after it has been drained. Regardless, I would never think to deprive them of this easy to make Dutch delicacy. Why couldn't I have grown up eating sprinkle sandwiches?

Seeing orange

In support of the Netherlands' participation in the World Cup there is orange everywhere. It is like the Fourth of July in the States, when everything and every place is decorated with stars and stripes. Only here it is slightly more intense.

Mostly I only notice how 75% of the houses and business are strung with little orange flags but I was a bit startled about mid-week when I found this in the bathroom.


Orange toilet paper.

So, it is not just about wearing orange or putting it up outside for everyone to see. Even the most private room in the house needs to encourage the football team to victory.

Do not worry if you were wondering why all the orange when the Dutch flag is red, white, and blue. I had no idea either but a quick Google search led me to this: "Orange is the color of the Dutch Royal Family. The lineage of the current dynasty -- the House of Oranje-Nassau -- dates back to Willem van Oranje (William of Orange). But while the color orange has royal roots in the Netherlands, today it symbolizes a broader pride in the country and in being Dutch." (source)

P.S. I find it interesting (and somewhat ironic if I think about it long enough) that the Medici family (practically the royal family) of Florence had oranges on their family crest. I was told that oranges were appropriate for the Medicis because medici means "doctors/medics" and oranges were considered medical apples.

I have confidence.

Lately I am more and more convinced that the Netherlands is the place for me. When I first began exploring au pair opportunities I was certain that I wanted to live in Italy (again). I was in contact with various families throughout – Milan, Rome, Florence, and Verona. But at some point I realized that if I wanted to be an au pair to be part of a family from a different culture, then I should probably explore families outside of the one place abroad I've already lived. It was incredibly difficult for me to come to that understanding, and to tell the Italian families that I did not feel qualified to be one of their potential au pairs.

I've already told the story of how I “met” my future host family. It really was one of those instances where everything fell into place almost perfectly. (Which seemed to happen much more in my life after this first instance with the au pair thing.) Although all the facts and details lined up, it really was about that gut feeling. Knowing that we were right for each other. I started emailing back and forth with their current au pair, Caroline, from the very beginning. Just after the first phone conversation, I believe. She said that for her as well it was that same instinct with this family. At first our emails were more to get an idea of what life was like in their household and what not. It turns out, however, that her and I have quiet a few things in common as regards our love of culture, languages, and travel. Aside from the good vibes I got from the host parents, Robin and Anna, the information that Caroline passed onto me about how she felt about them and her time there solidified my feelings. She taught English in southern Spain for several months before joining the family in January. Her and I exchanged quips about how different the Spanish and the Italians are from the Dutch. From my experience, the Italians are very warm and enthusiastic people. They feel everything very intensely, which is one of the things I love most about them. Their love for life is their greatest love and I never felt more alive than when I was living in Italy, trying the Italian way of life. I still try to carry that with me. According to Caroline, the Dutch are very friendly, open, and honest. Holland, she said, is very unique. And I love, love unique. I even like the word. Unique. I also really like the word Holland.

Before my conversations with Robin and Anna and emails with Caroline, I knew very little about the country. There are many tourist clichés about Amsterdam, which I will likely address in the future, but I have not paid much attention to them so far. In my Italian class in Florence there was a girl from Amsterdam. Veerle. She introduced herself to me on the first day and I quickly discovered that her personality was magnetic. She was very friendly. Very open. Very honest. And always fun to be around. I want to try and avoid stereotyping, even though I did it above with the Italians, but if the Dutch really are as unique as Veerle then by definition it will be impossible to stereotype the Dutch.

My other source of information is my father. He spent a week in Amsterdam during the summer of 2006 when the company he was working for was in negotiations to buy a Dutch mining company. His hotel was in the city but all the meetings were a train ride away in some town he doesn't remember the name of now. The one time they actually went anywhere in Amsterdam was for dinner. They went to a resteraunt that served Mexican food. They went out for Mexican while they were in Amsterdam! When I asked him earlier today what he remembers about it all he replied with two things.
1) "They don't put ice in Coke." My dad is an avid Coke drinker. And he likes his Coke with ice. Lots and lots of ice. When he asked for ice in the Netherlands they put in three cubes.
2)“They were all going mental about this soccer thing. The World Cup? It was uncalled for. Who cares about soccer? No one. They were wearing their jerseys and waving these flags. They were all like 'Woooooooo.'” That is my dad and his brand of humor. It is something along the lines of sarcasm. He doesn't mean it, really. And he was a football player so to him soccer, and the fact that it is called football outside of the US, is unnecessary.

I like the fact that the only place my dad has visited in Europe is Amsterdam. Even if he didn't really get to experience it. (Mexican food does not count.) I also really like the fact that he went four years ago at the same time of year as me. And that the World Cup was going on. I have a great passion for the World Cup. Again, another topic you will be reading more of sometime in the future.

So, to get a better idea of my future home I've spent a significant amount of time perusing a few blogs written by Americans living in the Netherlands. My favorites of these are:

Clogs and Tulips: An American in Holland
Tiffany Jansen
This blog is well organized, well written, and full of information! I love her post 10 Things to Have in Your Purse in the Netherlands. Carrie Bradshaw has a thing for shoes. I have a thing for purses and bags. And maybe that will include umbrellas after a few months over there.

Life Abroad by Heather
She moved to Amsterdam after undergrad with her boyfriend for his job. She just recently moved back to Toronto to go back to school but I'm addicted to her posts and photos. Amsterdam Treasures has me itching to get over there to see what sorts of little loves I will find.

I've added these blogs and others to the links in the sidebar. I know I won't have the time or the attention span to thouroghly comb through all the blogs and all the posts but so far they have contributed to this growing feeling that the Netherlands being the perfect place for me. By the time I land I'll be lugging my suitcases and singing “Confidence in Me” just like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music.

Listomania

I've been making a lot of lists lately. I have a list of the little things I need to remember buy. I have a short list of activities I'd like to do with my family before I leave. The most complex list of all is the only one I haven't actually written down. It is a mental list of all the big thoughts and subtle feelings I've had since graduation. I don't want to be overwhelmed by all the changes and keeping lists has helped so far.

The two main purposes behind all these lists are (1) to remember, and (2) to stay organized so I can stay on top of what must be done. The first reason is the most influential. Lately, my conscious has been flooded with memories. I hear a song that reminds me of a roadtrip my family took over five years ago. I find a bus ticket stub valid for a ride to Fiesole. I fall into a five hour long Facebook chat with an old friend where all we do is share memories from our silly teenage years. The resurfacing of these memories and my current obsession with remembering could all be part of coming home or having graduated. It could be my mind's way of sorting through everything.

So, to tell you about the past few days as regards my upcoming departure I will use these tricks of my memory. But we must start in the present moment. Below is a picture of where I am sitting right now. I've labeled certain features and although it looks like an ordinary scene, it really isn't. It is full of meaning and memories.



(1) This little basket is a fixture of my desktop. The basket was from a bath soap set my aunt gave me for Christmas one year the whole family was all together for the holidays. My parents, brothers, and I have always lived in a different state than the rest of the family you see. So, Christmases together are always remembered. Now, the basket holds little scraps of papers, bookmarks, and my passport. I like having my passport sitting where I can see it. My first time out of the country was for a January term in Bangalore, India. When I went to a post office in Wichita to get my picture taken the family in line before me was from India. I still remember how the little boy squirmed when his dad tried to hold him still for the photo. He was wearing an orange and white striped polo shirt.

(2) I checked out this stack of books from the Cobb Country Library this afternoon after spending a few hours at the pool.
a.Let's Go Europe 2009 While studying in Italy last spring I used this book frequently. One of the previous students had left it in our apartment. I used it to plan most portions of my excursions outside of Italy: London, Bath, Cork, and Paris. Since it is so large I simply copied down the information I needed into a notebook. The only time I ever took the book out of the apartment was for a long afternoon at one of my favorite spots in Florence. I still have that notebook and will probably use it again, but I want to visit cities I did not get to go last year. Hopefully, over the next few day's I'll be able to take down good notes from this book again.
b. Fodor's Essential Europe: The Best of 16 Exceptional Countries
c. Let's Go France 2009 The place I want to visit most again is France. I only spent three days in Paris last spring. I was on my own, which was the best part, but I did not get to see even half of what I wanted, intended, or planned. I know I'll be writing more about this particular adventure and my future plans to pick up where I left off so I'm going to stop myself from sharing my memories of Paris.
d. Fodor's Paris 2009

(3) This is the 55-250mm zoom lense that came with my darling Canon Rebel T1i, which my parents bought it for me as a graduation present. I have yet to familiarize myself with it, even though I've taken some test shots here and there. But expect to see (and probably read more) about it because I will be using it non-stop.

(4) This is one of the said lists. The writing is very small because I'm trying to keep it all on the same notecard. When I spoke to my host parents on Sunday (more on this conversation in a later post) I scribbled notes on the back. The pen I used has purple ink, which instantly reminded me of a certain morning in Florence. We were standing outside Santa Croce listening to the art history professor's lecture on the exterior. It began to rain and the few drops my open notebook managed to catch made the black ink run in pools of deep violet. When I went back to decipher my notes later they were illegible but the color was beautiful.

(5) These are the first official items I purchased for my time in the Netherlands.
a. Moleskine European City Notebook: Amsterdam As soon as my au pair position was for certain I began looking for items to purchase in order to prepare myself and/or be of use while I am there. Moleskine is my notebook of choice and while looking for one to record my adventures I found this. It is a regular Moleskine but it is equipped with city maps and organized tabs for attractions and favorite places for the traveller to fill in according to their tastes.
b. Moleskine Pocket Ruled Notebook When I said that Moleskine is my notebook of choice I actually meant that I'm a Moleskine lover. I bought my first set of Moleskines before I left for Italy. This time I've shrunken down to the pocket version of what I used for my previous travels.
c. Lonely Planet Guide: The Netherlands This was the only travel book Barnes & Noble had on the Netherlands, which is disappointing. Especially for someone like me because I love variety. Since there were no other options I felt pressured to buy it. And then I realized that I still need to see what Borders has to offer. There were, however, plenty of books about Amsterdam which doesn't do me much good. I don't think I should buy a book on Amsterdam because I have the city notebook mentioned above, and my host parents are already very familiar with Amsterdam. I'd much rather depend on them for information than a guide book, but we shall see if I change my mind about that.

(6) Before I started writing this blog entry I spent a good amount of time at apple.com looking at the new iPhone. Of the many things I find so great about it the best one is that it has video calls. It is the first cell phone ever to have that feature. To me, email and Facebook are not good enough for keeping in touch with my friends and family. So I used Skype while I was in Italy. It is free to use on computers but there is also a deal where you can buy Skype Credit on cell phones. Still, it doesn't beat the video call on the new iPhone. But the world isn't perfect. I'm still exploring my options in terms of how to call people in the States from a cell phone in the Netherlands. In fact, my mom and I are going to Verizon this afternoon to see what can be sorted out with our contract. I still plan on using Skype as my main source of face-time but one should always have a back up.

Those are all the labels explained in brief. But the best part of this scene is that before I went to Italy I took the same picture of my desk.


Notice the very basket with my passport, a stack of library books, and a stack of books from Barnes & Noble. It is funny sometimes how things tend to come full circle.


There. Now you can see how all these memories of mine are connected in their own strange way. Or in my mind, at least. I'm going to keep making lists and I'm going to keep remembering. In less than a week, after I step onto that plane destined for Amsterdam, I'll have new memories to share with you. I hope you're ready.