Snow, Stocking feet, and singing out of tune

The children don't have school this week which means I get three whole days of quality time with Roeland and Rosa before I leave. It has been awhile since I watched both of them together for a full day. Today was crazy. Instead of au pairing two Dutch children I felt like I was responsible for Thing 1 and Thing 2. They were all over the place and most of the time on the upper levels of the volume scale.



When my mom sent some gift packages for the children she included little toys, t-shirts from the Coca Cola factory in Atlanta, and these socks from Universal Studios.




Christmas spirit has infected the three of us. Roeland kept singing the same line over and over: "Simply having a wonderful Christmas time." Except the first few words come out as "sinty ebby..." He wore his Santa hat all day. There is a little bell on it so his first request this morning was that Rosa and I put our hats on as well and we can all sing "Jingle Bells." In the afternoon we went outside to play in the snow. Did you hear about how much snow hit Europe?


Snipped from The Atlanta Journal-Constitution and scanned by my dad.

It seems one last coffee in Amsterdam is unlikely before Thursday but Europe rarely gets snow of like this. I like that I am here to witness it, even if it cancelled all the plans I had for my last weekend in Holland. I'm praying that current or future conditions won't hinder any of the three flights I am booked to take before the end of the week. Hoping, wishing, and praying.

P.S. My friend Caitlyn has a blog. She's an au pair in Brescia, Italy. She's fantastic so you should check it out! Right this way, if you please.

Extra Special Adventure in Amsterdam 12.03.2010-12.05.2010

One of my favorite friends from high school, Caitlyn, visited Amsterdam this weekend. We hadn't seen each other since the Christmas of 2008, just before my family moved from Kansas to Georgia. Just before my time in India and about a year before Italy. Well, she arrived on Thursday and left Monday afternoon. I joined her Friday evening and left Sunday night. We stayed together at a hostel near Central Station, in a 20 bed mixed dorm full of boys. It smelled like dirty socks but we didn't mind too much. We were reunited in Amsterdam, of all places. She is currently an au pair in Italy. She also studied abroad in Florence but the semester before I was there. Deep down I think I always knew we'd meet up somewhere in Europe. And we did. And it was grand.



Thanksgiving Break 2008 - Back in the day when I dyed my hair dark. Going back to my natural blonde took a whole year after Italy.

Random Moments for those too lazy to read the full account
-Almost falling on our arses behind Westerkerk when we turned around to head back after seeing a long line at the Anne Frank House. It turns out that instead of a sidewalk beneath the snow it was all granite. Who in the world does that?
-Witnessing a guy pass out in the middle of a pizzeria. He was just standing there, on his way out, and suddenly fell. Completely unconscious with no apparent cause (though it isn't hard to guess why.) I don't think we moved an inch or took one breath from the moment he hit the floor to the moment his friend finally slapped him back to reality. Does that count as a near death experience?
-Listening to Giovanni Bassano sing and play guitar in Dam Square Sunday night. Some random guy came up and hugged Caitlyn. All weekend she had the hardest time finding her wallet in her purse when she reached the check-out but this time, to make sure he hadn't pick-pocketed her, it was the first thing she grabbed.
-Eavesdropping on a phone conversation a guy was having on the tram. "It is Filipe from Brazil! How are you, man!? It is so good to hear from you!" He really couldn't believe that Filipe was calling him from Brazil.
-Having a deep discussion in the hostel about the characters on True Blood and how the tv show differs from the books, which I haven't read yet but Caitlyn has.
-Swapping stories about everything and everyone imaginable. While walking in the cold or waiting in line or snuggled in the hostel or eating at Wok To Go. That is where we went Friday night and that is when the real talking and catching-up started.
-Movie quotes. Caitlyn is the only person I know who can rattle off any line from almost any movie at any given moment. I think the most quoted movie this weekend was 500 Days of Summer. "We're young. We live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Might as well have fun while we can and save the serious stuff for later."


Please click the link below for the full entry..

A Lesson in Independence - Part II

I've already touched on how important my family is to me and how I have amazing friends. I have already tried to explain that I like being independent but I have a new realization I would like to share with you.

When I was a kid I viewed holidays, specifically Christmas, very differently than I do now. Back then it was all about believing in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. It was about holidays being the special time of the year where magic was real. Now it is all about believing in love. It is about the real things in life that feel magical, like the time spent with family and friends.

I never realized how blessed I am to have such supportive parents and such unique little brothers until I moved away to college. In my teenage years I can't remember how many times I told my mom that as soon as I turned 18 I was going to move out. I couldn't wait to get away from her and have my own life. It was my hormones that made me say those things then but now when I tell her that I can't wait to come home again it is my heart speaking. At the beginning of my freshman year of college I told my family not to buy me anything for Christmas. They were paying for my school, that was enough. I told them that all I wanted was to just be with them for Christmas. Every year since I've had the same request. They always disobey and buy me the most thoughtful and meaningful gifts. I thought I knew the true meaning of Christmas.


Christmas in Georgia 2009

This year I was distraught over the possibility that I would return from Holland in a Christmas-time-crunch. My late arrival would mean that my parents would have to reschedule their plans of driving from Georgia to Minnesota to spend my brothers' school break with our extended family. Since my family moved to Georgia three years ago they haven't spent one Christmas with either side of their own families. I felt so guilty and sobbed on the phone to my dad telling him I was so sorry I was messing everything up. "I'll tell Grandma not to take down the Christmas tree until you get there. We don't have to celebrate Christmas on the 25th of December. We will celebrate it whenever we are together," he told me on the phone a few weeks back when I gushed about how awful I felt about not being able to come home even a day earlier. That was the reassurance I needed but it made me cry even harder.

I don't consider myself to be a humble person but I think I have some sort of complex where I don't feel like I deserve all the wonderful things I have. I tried to explain it to Brandy a few weeks ago. I know I can be very selfish sometimes but I never like asking for help. I always feel guilty when someone has to do something for me. Give me a ride somewhere. Wait for me. Even little things like hold the door for me if my hands are full. I don't know why but I just feel bad when people have to take time out of their day for me or have to change their plans for me. I hate being dependent on anyone, even the slightest bit. But I have learned now that depending on others doesn't make you weak. It gives you strength. Even on good days here I am homesick. I have stayed strong enough to this point because I have the support of others. Depending on their love doesn't mean I'm not strong and independent. It just means that I am wise enough to know that love is the most important thing you can ever give and ever receive.



So, I've learned a lot since I was a teenager. I've learned a lot since the days before I ever spent time abroad, immersed in a different culture. I think my experiences overseas have solidified my beliefs and have strengthened the most important relationships in my life. The perfect example happened about a month ago: I received a surprise package from a very good friend of mine that contained a framed picture of me and my friends on Halloween two years ago, before I left for my semester in Italy. The changes that have taken place for all of us since that crazy night are pretty momentous. However, when I look at that picture I still feel that one thing is the same - our bond. We still love spending time together. We still have the same sense of humor. We still have dreams and hopes and each other. I can't wait to see them again. I can't wait to go home. I can't wait to be able to properly reflect on my experiences here. I know that this is going to be the best Christmas of my entire life.

Goedemorgen, winter.

Last night I had a strange dream. A mysterious guy gave me a ride to the train station in a big black SUV with tinted windows. I think he was my bodyguard. My brother, Seth, was waiting there for me. When we got into Amsterdam we got on the wrong tram and had to get off and walk in the opposite direction. Justin Bieber joined us and we made our way towards Rembrandtplein to check in to Hotel Atlanta, which I discovered last weekend. Then I woke up. The clock said 8:10. Why was I up that early on a Saturday? I checked the weather online to make sure it wouldn't snow but I couldn't get back to sleep. Justin Bieber was in my dream. Weird. But not so weird because my other brother, Owen, has hair that looks exactly like that of the teeny bopper icon, except it is not as well conditioned.



I believe this dream has to do with a recent event - I know when I'll be going home. I'll be leaving Holland on December 23rd and arriving in Atlanta late that night. It won't be fun getting crammed in so close to Christmas, especially when my family's plans for the holiday include traveling. The night I booked the flight, Seth and I had a real heart-to-heart on Skype. We ganged up on Owen, telling him to cut his hair or forever face the embarrassment of looking back at his middle school portraits with regret.

Now it is 9:37am. The canal behind the house is frozen. I need to buy some boots. I need to start buying Christmas presents. I have only 3 1/2 weeks left here. Maybe I should get out of bed.

Edit: It is snowing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

During my four years of college I often escaped to my Grandma Helen's condo in Edina on the weekends when I needed a break from school. It is only a fifty minute drive so I'd pack a little bag and drive off campus blasting good music, ready to get away and relax for a few days. She's lived in the same condo my whole life so it was always the perfect home away from home. We'd go out to dinner or I'd cook. Sometimes we'd catch a movie after my afternoon walk/jog around Lake Harriet, but mostly I'd just sit around watching TV. If I felt up to it I'd actually do some schoolwork. When I was working on my honor's thesis senior year I used her card to check out books from the Hennepin County Library and spread out on the table she uses for her jigsaw puzzles. She got me started on crosswords and we'd always go to bed late because we'd stay up talking. Now that I'm in Holland we write letters to each other. I call her with my Skype credit every once in awhile. Hopefully, this year my family and I will make it to her place for Christmas but either way I still miss her a lot.


Christmas with the cousins on my dad's side of the family at Grandma Helen's. I'm assuming this picture was taken before Owen was born in 1998. From left to right: Andrew, Seth (in the headlock), Colin in Grandma's lap, and me.

Sometime in October of last year, during one of my weekend sleepovers, I mentioned how I hadn't spent Thanksgiving with my family in Georgia since they moved there. The year before I stayed with my Grandma Sue and had Thanksgiving with my cousins at their other grandparent's house. So, Grandma Helen suggested I fly home and surprise my family. She booked me a flight and I only told my dad and Seth. They picked me up from the airport late at night and around midnight I walked into the house. My mother was in the kitchen heating up some food for the boys and when she saw me she almost collapsed. She immediately started crying after she recovered from the shock. My youngest brother, Owen, was asleep on the couch and I tried to wake him up but he thought he was dreaming when he saw me hovering over him. Usually, Thanksgiving is a tense time for my family because everyone gets stressed out. My mom gets stuck with all the cooking and by the time we sit down to eat none of us feel very grateful. But after we say grace we take turns going around the table saying at least one thing we're thankful for. One year my dad said indoor plumbing and another year he said MTV. But last year was perfect because we were all thankful for the same thing - that we were all together.

Old Family Film Thanksgiving 2009 from missemalise on Vimeo.

This year I have so much to be thankful for. I also have a different appreciation for Thanksgiving because I understand better what it is like to move to a foreign land and try to build a life. Granted the obstacles I've had to face here in Holland were very different than those the first settlers in America had to overcome, but I still feel a connection. Even more so now that I know the story of my ancestors who immigrated from Sweden. I've seen what they left and I grew up in the legacy they built in the Land of Freedom. I don't have plans to celebrate today but tonight I'm going to try to watch the live stream of the Thanksgiving Day Parade online. Then I'll turn on some Christmas music because it is a bit of a tradition in my family to turn it on as soon as we finish eating. No one wants to do the dishes but at least with Christmas on our minds already we get excited for the rest of winter to pass until we can all be together (and stressed out) again.

Love long distance

The goal of this blog is to chronicle my experiences while in the Netherlands. The good, the bad, and the ridiculously embarrassing. What I am about to share with you is rather silly but it is a pretty significant part of my life here: staying connected with my friends and family. Especially the latter. It is very important for me to stay in touch with the special people in my life, even though my life has changed so much. Thanks to Skype I can talk and see them pretty frequently even though we are hundreds and hundred of miles away from each other.

Whether I'm watching while my twelve-year-old brother plays video games or listening to my mother ramble on about what she read in People magazine about The Real Housewives of New York City, it is so nice to spend time "together." Sometimes they like to tease me by enjoying a pan full of brownies between stories about their day. Holding each piece in front of the webcam just long enough to make my mouth water before they devour it. Sometimes they like to be sneaky and take screenshots of me making weird faces unknowingly and then send them to me unexpectedly.


Mother and said 12 year-old brother, Owen.

A French exchange student, Paul, has been staying with my family for the summer. In my room. I must admit it is a little weird and hard not to feel like he's filling up the space I left behind, especially since they're doing all sorts of fun things with him. Things that I've always wanted to do whenever I was home for the summer or holiday breaks. And then they took him to Harry Potter World and I contemplated giving them the silent treatment to convey how betrayed I felt. And then I noticed how perfect the whole situation actually is. Here I am living with another family in Holland. I was home barely two weeks after graduation and then I jetted off across the ocean. And there Paul is living with my family in America. It is great for my brothers to have another guy to hang out with instead of a sister who still thinks making them tag along to shop at Target is fun. And I'm sure he's a much better video game player than me.


The sign they held when they picked him up at the airport.

It is funny how things work out. Life is strange. And my family is really, really great. Excuse me for being overly sentimental but if it weren't for them I'd never have the courage and the drive to do something like live in another country. All that stuff about doing what makes you happy and following your dreams is something I totally believe in thanks to them. Especially my parents. Sorry, mom and dad, that it took me twenty-two years to figure that out.

To build a home

Tuesday was my first day in Holland. Thursday was my first day as an au pair. Even if I say those facts out loud it still doesn't seem like my life. Even though I'm learning quickly this doesn't feel like my life yet.

To think, in less than 24 hours I went from a messy room and empty suitcases to a chilly room and three nearly full suitcases.



So, during the past five days I have had to adjust to life in another country as well as life with a family different than my own. It has been exhausting on so many differnt levels but I'm surviving. I've taken to observing and listening - two things I think I am pretty good at.

I observe how things are done or handled around the house and with the children. I listen closely to what they say in Dutch even though I don't understand any of it. Dutch is very new to my years. The only other languages I've been exposed to, aside from English, are French and Italian. With my years of Latin I am far more comfortable being around Italian, even if I am not fluent in speaking and can only understand enough to get buy on a day-to-day basis. But Dutch sounds so different. I am getting better at grasping the gist of things.

Anna sat down with me the night before I started with the children and I wrote down some words she thought I should know. Example:
dicht - close
meer - more
heerlijk - delicious
Ik doe het - I do it
The last one is used most often by Reinhilde (2). She is entering the terrible two's phase so she wants to do everything herself.

Other than just figuring things out I've found the children's daily diet of Sesame Street (Sesam Straat) to be most helpful. I speak in English to them, which fortunately Ruben (4) understands. Usually I can get them to repeat words back to me but for now I'm concentrating on the basics like "please" and "thank you." However, Ruben's favorite phrase is "you're being silly" which I said to him the first day or so and he thinks its hilarious to yell it back at me.

Which brings me to my best mechanism: humor. Not only is it wonderful to hear the children laughing (or giggling in Reinhilde's case) but it helps them feel comfortable around me. It has been working so far. The afternoon Robin and Anna commented that the children have such great chemistry with me which is unusual so soon. I was flattered, of course, and I hope that I can keep up being on their good side. It takes a lot of energy and patience to be an au pair.

Yesterday we went to Purmerend and Edam. Today we went into Amsterdam. However, the adapter I brought over does not work on my Macbook so I can't upload pictures until I get a different adapter. An entry about this weekend shall have to wait.

And that is why I'm keeping this post on the short side. Plus, I'm not settled enough yet to really write about daily life and what not. Of course there are little things I already know I'm feeling - a sense of homesickness and the like but I'm going to move on from that soon. For now, I'm exhausted and Italy is playing in the Cup. It's time to take a little break and watch my boys.