Tips for Au Pairs

Despite the fact that it has something like 9 or 10 months since I last updated here and I feel somewhat removed from this blog, I'd rather spit out the last few posts or so this place deserves even if no one is still reading. Regardless of how long it has been since I was in Holland. This post I've been sitting on the longest and I'm really glad to finally finish it up.

I've kept this down to five tips because everyone is different. Every family is different. Every au pair experience is different. I didn't want to get too specific with the dos and don'ts, but I did want to at least provide specific or thorough exposition for each point.

In which this tale's heroine fails miserably at being the heroine

My neglect of this blog is embarrassing and really has no excuse. I don't think even the most sincere apology will be sufficient. For the past few days I haven't had access to wifi at home so I'm scrounging some off at Panera. My dearest reader, there is so much I need and want to tell you but I just don't have the time right now. Until I get my wifi fixed here is a little follow up.

Hagelslag
Remember those messy but delicious sprinkles that are a staple of the Dutch lunch? I bought a box from World Market. I have a love-hate relationship with this particular delicacy. For all the times I had to spend sweeping them from the kitchen in Holland and wiping down the children vigorously only to find them scattered about regardless, I still caved in a bought some because I suppose, in a way, I have missed them. The sprinkles that is. The children I'll address in another post.

Paul
Remember Paul, my family's foreign exchange student last summer? He stayed in my room while I was in Holland and when I got back, aside from leaving some shopping bags hidden in a corner, he also forgot some French newspapers on the floor by my bed. I've kept them.



Gifts
Remember the gifts from abroad I was excited about giving people? They've all been distributed and I think everyone liked them.


Anne Frank
Remember when I visited the secret hideaway in Amsterdam with my friend Caitlyn? And how much admiration I have for Anne? I'm volunteering now at the Georgia Commissions for the Holocaust's Anne Frank Around the World Exhibit. It makes me very happy to be able to hang out with Anne a few hours every week.

Yoga
Remember that one time I used getting back into yoga as a metaphor for adjusting after time abroad? Well, I still haven't mastered the headstand yet. I'm closer every practice. But I just wanted to fix a little case of mistaken identity. The instructor who I referred to as Glenn in that post is actually Jason. Glenn teaches on Thursday evenings and he is very different from Jason.

Sweden
Remember that one time I stayed with my wonderful relatives in Sweden? Well, I still carry that with me every day and it is a part of who I am. There is a wonderful blog, The Modern Viking Vixen: A Foreigner's Guide to American Survival, written by a Norwegian living in L.A. She is by far one of my favorite bloggers. And if you're reading this blog then you should be reading hers. I'm still flattered and honored to have been featured in one of her Motivational Monday posts. Check it out!

A wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure.

When I woke up this morning I did not feel like P. Diddy. I had Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are" stuck in my head, which is a wonderful way to start one's day. On the way to pick the children up for lunch the flawless Dutch radio played Cyndi Lauper blended into "I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight." Its been a great day so far and, with eight days left until I leave, I'm trying to savor all these moments. I'm already starting to sense how much I'm going to miss the children. I spent Saturday in Amsterdam (adventure post pending) and felt the first wave of what it will be like to say good-bye. But, if you read on, you'll see that my adventures will not end when I leave Holland.

Less than 24 hours after I land in Atlanta my dad and I are flying up to Minnesota to join my mom and brothers, who fly up on the 21st, for Christmas. My time will be split between our hotel suite and both grandma's houses. Guess who else is coming up?



Brandy is taking a Greyhound bus up from Kansas City to join me for New Year's in the "Land of 10,000 Lakes." (Thanks, Mom!) As you can see, we're incredibly excited. To celebrate the fact that we'll see each other for the first time in person since New Year's 2008, we danced around to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and quoted a good portion of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

But that isn't all. I'm roadtripping back to Atlanta with Erica when she drives down to Florida to start her internship in January. The big open road, excellent company, and more great music? Yes, please.



I'll have a lot on my plate when I get back to the States. School loan payments and unemployment. I'll have a lot to figure out. And there are some other special people I want to see and spend some quality time with. So much to do and think about. But Holland has definitely helped me transition from being a "thinker" to a "doer." I'm sniffing out opportunities, savoring my last week here, and looking forward to the next chapter in my life. Now, instead of Bruno Mars, I have Ferris stuck in my head.

A Lesson in Independence - Part II

I've already touched on how important my family is to me and how I have amazing friends. I have already tried to explain that I like being independent but I have a new realization I would like to share with you.

When I was a kid I viewed holidays, specifically Christmas, very differently than I do now. Back then it was all about believing in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. It was about holidays being the special time of the year where magic was real. Now it is all about believing in love. It is about the real things in life that feel magical, like the time spent with family and friends.

I never realized how blessed I am to have such supportive parents and such unique little brothers until I moved away to college. In my teenage years I can't remember how many times I told my mom that as soon as I turned 18 I was going to move out. I couldn't wait to get away from her and have my own life. It was my hormones that made me say those things then but now when I tell her that I can't wait to come home again it is my heart speaking. At the beginning of my freshman year of college I told my family not to buy me anything for Christmas. They were paying for my school, that was enough. I told them that all I wanted was to just be with them for Christmas. Every year since I've had the same request. They always disobey and buy me the most thoughtful and meaningful gifts. I thought I knew the true meaning of Christmas.


Christmas in Georgia 2009

This year I was distraught over the possibility that I would return from Holland in a Christmas-time-crunch. My late arrival would mean that my parents would have to reschedule their plans of driving from Georgia to Minnesota to spend my brothers' school break with our extended family. Since my family moved to Georgia three years ago they haven't spent one Christmas with either side of their own families. I felt so guilty and sobbed on the phone to my dad telling him I was so sorry I was messing everything up. "I'll tell Grandma not to take down the Christmas tree until you get there. We don't have to celebrate Christmas on the 25th of December. We will celebrate it whenever we are together," he told me on the phone a few weeks back when I gushed about how awful I felt about not being able to come home even a day earlier. That was the reassurance I needed but it made me cry even harder.

I don't consider myself to be a humble person but I think I have some sort of complex where I don't feel like I deserve all the wonderful things I have. I tried to explain it to Brandy a few weeks ago. I know I can be very selfish sometimes but I never like asking for help. I always feel guilty when someone has to do something for me. Give me a ride somewhere. Wait for me. Even little things like hold the door for me if my hands are full. I don't know why but I just feel bad when people have to take time out of their day for me or have to change their plans for me. I hate being dependent on anyone, even the slightest bit. But I have learned now that depending on others doesn't make you weak. It gives you strength. Even on good days here I am homesick. I have stayed strong enough to this point because I have the support of others. Depending on their love doesn't mean I'm not strong and independent. It just means that I am wise enough to know that love is the most important thing you can ever give and ever receive.



So, I've learned a lot since I was a teenager. I've learned a lot since the days before I ever spent time abroad, immersed in a different culture. I think my experiences overseas have solidified my beliefs and have strengthened the most important relationships in my life. The perfect example happened about a month ago: I received a surprise package from a very good friend of mine that contained a framed picture of me and my friends on Halloween two years ago, before I left for my semester in Italy. The changes that have taken place for all of us since that crazy night are pretty momentous. However, when I look at that picture I still feel that one thing is the same - our bond. We still love spending time together. We still have the same sense of humor. We still have dreams and hopes and each other. I can't wait to see them again. I can't wait to go home. I can't wait to be able to properly reflect on my experiences here. I know that this is going to be the best Christmas of my entire life.

I love technology.

With only a few weeks left here, I'm on the home stretch. It seems like it will go quickly when I count just the weekends. I will take Rosa to preschool only six more times. Roland has school every weekday but some afternoons (Wednesday and Friday) he doesn't go back after lunch so that is usually when we do crafting. I've looked up some little Christmas projects we can do together and I'm excited because I love that stuff. Seven crafts for seven afternoons. Only three more Saturdays for adventures. Only three more Sundays to be lazy.

I'm going to try and post every other day until I leave. I'm never really sure what to post about but at the same time there is so much to tell you and show you about my time in Holland. We'll see what I can come up with. For now, this is all I've got...

I've been Skyping much more frequently than usual. I appreciate the magic of technology but I can't wait until I get to see these people face-to-face.


A surprise call from my cousin, Joe. I still can't believe that this kid, my little cousin, is in college. When did we all get so big?


Watching my parents read my blog.


Erica's camera often has technical difficulties. This is just one of the many silly screencaptures Erica and I have collected.


My personal favorite. Owen and I watching the season 5 finale of Doctor Who. Priceless because all three of us have the same facial expression. I'd tell you what we're reacting to but SPOILERS!

Goedemorgen, winter.

Last night I had a strange dream. A mysterious guy gave me a ride to the train station in a big black SUV with tinted windows. I think he was my bodyguard. My brother, Seth, was waiting there for me. When we got into Amsterdam we got on the wrong tram and had to get off and walk in the opposite direction. Justin Bieber joined us and we made our way towards Rembrandtplein to check in to Hotel Atlanta, which I discovered last weekend. Then I woke up. The clock said 8:10. Why was I up that early on a Saturday? I checked the weather online to make sure it wouldn't snow but I couldn't get back to sleep. Justin Bieber was in my dream. Weird. But not so weird because my other brother, Owen, has hair that looks exactly like that of the teeny bopper icon, except it is not as well conditioned.



I believe this dream has to do with a recent event - I know when I'll be going home. I'll be leaving Holland on December 23rd and arriving in Atlanta late that night. It won't be fun getting crammed in so close to Christmas, especially when my family's plans for the holiday include traveling. The night I booked the flight, Seth and I had a real heart-to-heart on Skype. We ganged up on Owen, telling him to cut his hair or forever face the embarrassment of looking back at his middle school portraits with regret.

Now it is 9:37am. The canal behind the house is frozen. I need to buy some boots. I need to start buying Christmas presents. I have only 3 1/2 weeks left here. Maybe I should get out of bed.

Edit: It is snowing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

During my four years of college I often escaped to my Grandma Helen's condo in Edina on the weekends when I needed a break from school. It is only a fifty minute drive so I'd pack a little bag and drive off campus blasting good music, ready to get away and relax for a few days. She's lived in the same condo my whole life so it was always the perfect home away from home. We'd go out to dinner or I'd cook. Sometimes we'd catch a movie after my afternoon walk/jog around Lake Harriet, but mostly I'd just sit around watching TV. If I felt up to it I'd actually do some schoolwork. When I was working on my honor's thesis senior year I used her card to check out books from the Hennepin County Library and spread out on the table she uses for her jigsaw puzzles. She got me started on crosswords and we'd always go to bed late because we'd stay up talking. Now that I'm in Holland we write letters to each other. I call her with my Skype credit every once in awhile. Hopefully, this year my family and I will make it to her place for Christmas but either way I still miss her a lot.


Christmas with the cousins on my dad's side of the family at Grandma Helen's. I'm assuming this picture was taken before Owen was born in 1998. From left to right: Andrew, Seth (in the headlock), Colin in Grandma's lap, and me.

Sometime in October of last year, during one of my weekend sleepovers, I mentioned how I hadn't spent Thanksgiving with my family in Georgia since they moved there. The year before I stayed with my Grandma Sue and had Thanksgiving with my cousins at their other grandparent's house. So, Grandma Helen suggested I fly home and surprise my family. She booked me a flight and I only told my dad and Seth. They picked me up from the airport late at night and around midnight I walked into the house. My mother was in the kitchen heating up some food for the boys and when she saw me she almost collapsed. She immediately started crying after she recovered from the shock. My youngest brother, Owen, was asleep on the couch and I tried to wake him up but he thought he was dreaming when he saw me hovering over him. Usually, Thanksgiving is a tense time for my family because everyone gets stressed out. My mom gets stuck with all the cooking and by the time we sit down to eat none of us feel very grateful. But after we say grace we take turns going around the table saying at least one thing we're thankful for. One year my dad said indoor plumbing and another year he said MTV. But last year was perfect because we were all thankful for the same thing - that we were all together.

Old Family Film Thanksgiving 2009 from missemalise on Vimeo.

This year I have so much to be thankful for. I also have a different appreciation for Thanksgiving because I understand better what it is like to move to a foreign land and try to build a life. Granted the obstacles I've had to face here in Holland were very different than those the first settlers in America had to overcome, but I still feel a connection. Even more so now that I know the story of my ancestors who immigrated from Sweden. I've seen what they left and I grew up in the legacy they built in the Land of Freedom. I don't have plans to celebrate today but tonight I'm going to try to watch the live stream of the Thanksgiving Day Parade online. Then I'll turn on some Christmas music because it is a bit of a tradition in my family to turn it on as soon as we finish eating. No one wants to do the dishes but at least with Christmas on our minds already we get excited for the rest of winter to pass until we can all be together (and stressed out) again.

Christmas in November

Back in August I asked my mom to send me a few things. We went over the list multiple times, trying to trim it down so it would fit in one box and not significantly increase the weight of my luggage when I fly home. Last weekend my dad took it to the post office and emailed me the tracking numbers. Three tracking numbers, to be exact, which baffled me because I expected only the one box. "You'll see why there are three when you get them," my mom explained. I was constantly refreshing the USPS page until all the boxes had cleared customs. Then, on Friday morning, I saw the delivery man pull up outside the house.



I signed for each one and carried them into the kitchen. Rosa was just as excited as I was to open them so we set up on the kitchen table. I tried to record myself opening each one but my camera kept cutting out and some chunks are missing, but I'll edit it all together and upload it to my parents so they can see my reactions.



All of the items I requested were included in a mix of extra surprises. A plethora of candy for me and the children. A book club book my mom thought I'd like. A CD she likes. A favorite nightgown and some new pajamasn. A postcard and keychain from Harry Potter World. A gift Paul, the French foreign exchange student, left for me in my room. A purse my dad bought me in New York. And all sorts of other goodies. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. I felt like a spoiled little girl again. Especially when I found the little note my wonderful mother wrote. The giddiness still hasn't faded.


I have the best mom in the world. Proof.

Then on Sunday Sinterklaas came to the village. He comes to Holland from Spain via boat every year in mid-November. With his assistant Zwarte Piet, who disperses pepernoten (gingerbread cookies) and other sweets to the children, he parades through the streets on a grey or white horse.


Roeland watching the band.

Zwarte Piets.

Another Zwarte Piet.

First sighting.





Last Thursday was St. Martin's Day. It is traditionally celebrated on November 11th. Children go from door to door with paper lanterns and sing for candy. The weather was incredibly windy and cold so Rosa and Roeland didn't participate this year. Instead they ran around the house with their lanterns, crashing into furniture in the dark while singing the song at the top of their lungs. So, although I missed that particular Dutch holiday I still got to see Sinterklaas and I got some sweet surprises from home.

Adventure in Amsterdam - Halloween Weekend

I've had some more adventures in Amsterdam since my visit to Sweden but mostly I just meet up with friends to eat or go shopping and then stay the night watching movies. I had this Friday off as my host family was going to the Dolfinarium in Harderwijk, so I took my time at the house getting ready for a long weekend with friends. I took the train to Amsterdam in the late afternoon to go to a few shops and compare prices on the things I needed to buy for my Halloween costume. Then I had to wait a few hours for everyone to show up, which was fine since there was a carnival in Dam Square.







I got a coffee, sat outside the cafe, and called my parents. I don't call them often on my cell phone because it is expensive but I love calling them when I'm in Amsterdam. It doesn't make me feel so far away from home when I talk to them on my phone instead of Skype. "I'm standing in Dam Square right now." I told them. My mom was worried about me being alone in the city after dark and my dad had to ask what he always asks, "Now, we haven't done any body modifications, have we?" He is concerned that I'm going to get a tattoo or something strange. But maybe he is just teasing me. Sometimes I never really know if he is serious or not.



Two weekends ago I noticed that Christmas lights were already up in the city center and stores had their Holiday merchandise out. It seemed pretty early, at the beginning of October, to already be getting in that spirit but I realized that Halloween here isn't like what it is in the US and there isn't Thanksgiving either. Although dressing in costumes and going to parties for Halloween has become more popular in recent years children don't go trick-or-treating on the 31st.

At first I was feeling really down about missing Halloween with my friends in the States. I mean, I miss my friends all the time here but I knew I was going to miss them even more on Halloween. I love Halloween. Growing up my mom always made the best costumes by hand. Rainbow Brite. Tinkerbell. Alice in Wonderland. Ect. But I have been very lucky to have made some wonderful friends here. They are also au pairs. We're all scattered in different cities and village throughout Holland but we get together on the weekends in Amsterdam. I'm the only American in the group as they hail from all over - Mexico, Spain, Italy, and Germany. But I'll tell you all about them and "us" in another post. So, this weekend we all agreed that we'd celebrate Halloween in Amsterdam together and gave a great time. And we did. I haven't laugh so hard and so much in a long time. I didn't bring my camera so I stole some pictures from Facebook.




Germany and me.


The whole gang: Italy, Mexico, Germany, and me.


Killing time at McDonald's before the station opens at 5am.


The 6:40am train back after a whole night out in A'dam.

Adventure in Sweden - 9.24.2010

My last full day in Sweden. I tried not to think of how it seemed as thought the days had flown by and I tried my best to remember every moment, which is impossible. However, from previous experience I know for sure that all sorts of feelings, thoughts, and memories will filter back from time to time. You never really leave the places you leave behind because you carry everything with you.




The full account is after the jump.

Adventure in Sweden - 09.23.2010

No visit to Sweden would be complete without some Viking ruins, beautifully designed furniture, and some red houses, right? After two days in Stockholm we took the train back to Västerås where I stayed for the remaining two and half days of my visit. I think it is a common misconception that you've "seen" a country if you've been to it's capital or most well-known city. If you've been to Rome then that counts as seeing Italy. If you've been to Paris, then that is France. But I think any real traveller understands that there is no microcosm for any culture, language, or country in the form of a busy city. Yes, I saw and learned many things in Stockholm but my time in Västerås is what really made my visit to Sweden so enriching. And usually museums tend to be the highlight when I visit places, just out of personal preference, but I think this day was my favorite of all. It had most of my favorite things: yoga, tea, autumn, ancient things, and great company.




Read and see more after the jump!

Adventure in Sweden - 9.22.2010

We stayed the night at Suzanne's cousin's apartment which has beautiful top floor views of Lake Mälaren. Most museums don't open until 10am so we were able to sit and have coffee with the owners when they returned in the morning from France. Maybe it is a Swedish thing but I found everyone I met there to be very good conversationalists. The coffee was always really good too.





Nordic Museum
This is Sweden's largest museum of cultural history. In 1880, the founder, Artur Hazelius, adopted "känn dig själv" as the motto. Originally from temple of Apollo in Delphi, it translates to mean "know thyself." I left knowing a lot more about Sweden's fashion and traditions.






The first exhibit was the "Power of Fashion: 300 years of clothing." By showcasing clothes from three three decades (1780's, 1860's, and 1960's) it demonstrated how social groups used clothing to create their identity. I took a history of costume class at college and a 20th century fashion class while studying in Italy but it was a different experience to learn about Swedish fashion.



"Traditions, Celebrations and Festivals from the Cradle to the Grave" was also very interesting because some things like Midsummer and various elements from Christmas were carried over in my family. The same goes for the section of the museum about design.



Vasa Museum
Statistically, this is the the most visited museum in all of Scandinavia. I admit, that the main reason I wanted to go was because I knew my brothers would have been dying to see it had they been there. A big ship from the early 17th century which sunk before it had even travelled one nautical mile out of the harbor? Yeah, it is a true story. The Vasa was a warship built for King Gustavus Adolphus' navy in an attempt to strengthen it's forces. It was the largest of the five ships intended to increase the fighting force against Sweden's enemies like Poland and Denmark.

The reason for it's sinking can be put into simple terms: it did not have proper ballast. Although the ship is too large to fit in a single photograph at once there are seven floors to the museum from which can see every portion from top to bottom.






It turned out that going just to show off the pictures to my brothers and having the bragging rights to hang over their heads wasn't the only advantage. Gustavus considered himself a pretty big deal and had the ship decorated with elaborate wood carvings of various Roman iconography in order to express his power. Once again I found that no matter where I go - no matter how far North of Rome I find myself - Classics is always there waiting for me.






Shopping
In summary, Stockholm was wonderful, amazing, epic, and every other adjective of greatness one can imagine. However, the only con was trying to find suitable souvenirs. What does one buy when one's family already has dala horses of every size, carved trolls and Tomtars, Pippi Longstocking dolls, Viking gear, wood butter knives, and everything by Astrid Lindgren? I love Swedish handicrafts but I was limited on suitcase space for my flights back to Holland. In the back of my mind I knew I should just give in and buy something just to say "Hey, I bought this in Sweden" but I couldn't bring myself to cop out. So, I ended up buying one t-shirt for my brothers to fight over and some wall hangings for my mom and two grandmothers which I will decorate myself with paints (but I don't want to give away the details in case they're reading this.) For myself, a headband of Lapland wool. Note to all travelers: don't let yourself get too wrapped up in buying gifts for others - you deserve something after all that walking and picture taking. You deserve something of your own so that when someone comments or compliments when you wear it you can say, "Oh, this old thing? I bought it when I was in Sweden." And then you can remember, briefly, those two days you spent in Stockholm. But really, how could you ever forget a city as great as this?